This Week In Sports and NFL Playoff Preview   

What a strange week in the sports world. I thought for sure most of the Talking Head shows would be dominated by the RG3, Mike Shanahan morality play until at least Thursday. That is until a harmless septuagenarian made some mildly suggestive comments about Miss Alabama at The BCS Championship Game. I find it easily excusable that Brent Musburger got wrapped up in A.J. McCarron’s Southern Belle. The man had spent the whole day in the Miami heat drinking Cuban Libres and practicing how to say Manti Te’o. At least he had more tact than Darnell Dockett.

Also, the NHL is back. Much like the NBA lockout, the offer that was on the table months ago was ultimately the one the two sides agreed on. However, at the point the initial offer was made the NHL hadn’t burned through all it’s rainy day cash, forced the cancellation of the Winter Classic, ostracized half of it’s loyal fan base, nor enlightened a soon-to-be-cynical generation of young hockey fans about the dark world of sport’s greed. With that mind the NHL has never been the most brand conscious of the four major sports, and I’m sure that whatever marginal profits this omnibus season provides, insiders will spin it to justify the months of stalemate and inertia. I don’t know if it’s because of the multicultural influences that muddle up negotiations or a soft Canadian diplomacy, either way the game was at the height of it’s success a year ago and yet still found away to be undone from within. It’s the same reason why the NHL had a lockout less than ten years ago and why they will have another one before this CBA expires.

Having exercised some of my vitriol it was nice to see a more lighthearted story in the sports pages. Carmelo Anthony and Kevin Garnett will never be mistaken as perennial contenders for the NBA’s Man of the Year. Kevin Garnett’s courtside language is something between a Quentin Tarantino caricature of a completive athlete and a George Carlin comedy bit. Carmelo Anthony on the other hand, is an egomaniacal pure-scorer whose theatrical hubris can only be dwarfed by the life-size cutout poster of himself he has mounted above his bed. The beef between these two superstars could not be more inane, and honestly sounds like something that occurs between my roommates and I every morning in the kitchen.

            “Dude, can you pass me the Honey Nut Cheerios?”

            “Your Mom tastes like Honey Nut Cheerios.”

I really don’t understand the offensive nature of the comment. Either way the circus of trash talking and shoving that occurred afterward has become the staple of the NBA, and something I thoroughly enjoy. It’s just a real shame that the repercussions of the Brawl at the Palace have led us to NBA completely absent of any pugilistic exploits, and one of more he-said-she-said nonsense.

Let’s just move on to the NFL.

Broncos v. Ravens

This should be a good game to open the weekend. The Ravens are a veteran squad who don’t rattle easy on the road. Baltimore has a defense that is accustom to competing against Peyton Manning, even if there wasn’t much competition the last time they faced each other. While these clichés sound nice in my head, admittedly they don’t mean much for a Ravens that will certainly be overmatched on Saturday. Denver has been a bye week for almost a month at this point, cruising through the Pop-Warner AFC West with more deftness and precision than one of Noodle Manning’s parabolic fade passes.  I hope it’s not a blow out.  There’s a chance that Joe Flacco might have one of his bizarre playoff performances and catch a little magic in the form of Torrey Smith streaking down the sideline with defenders in his dust. More likely, Peyton Manning continues his MVP season and easily dices up Baltimore’s geriatric defense en route to the AFC Championship Game. Enjoy yet another bye week Denver.

49ers v. Packers

This was the reason that Harbaugh decided on Kaepernick over Alex Smith, specifically for this scenario where managing the offense and controlling turnovers would not be enough to win the game.  The Packers are not as dynamic as they were a year ago, but with Aaron Rodgers under center it won’t be enough to score 14 points and rest on the defense’s laurels. I’m still on the fence about Kaepernick’s playmaking ability. He’s shown flashes of talent but there are also way more reckless plays in his game then I’d expect at this point. In the end, Colin Kaepernick will provide fans with more heart palpitations than Alex Smith but I also think he gets the job done.

Falcons v. Seahawks

The Falcons are this year’s Rodney Dangerfield team. All year long analysts derided their unimpressive wins and weak schedule. Last I checked you didn’t need an impressive resume to win in the postseason. The 2011 Patriots didn’t beat a single wining team in the regular season and they went to the Super Bowl. I understand that Matt Ryan hasn’t won a playoff game and that the Seahawks are the type of squad—a running team with lots of defensive bravado—that typically dominates in January, but having said that… actually nevermind, I just changed my pick. Seahawks win big in the dome.

Patriots v. Texans

Much like the Broncos, this is a favorable match up and if the Texans perform in any way like they did against the Bengals I wouldn’t be surprised if the score is reminiscent of the first time these teams played. That said, for Patriots fans this is like revisiting a dark place in their memory. The last time the Patriots played an opponent in the playoffs that they blew out in the regular season it was the 2010 Jets who couldn’t wait to get their vengeance. And vengeance can be just as good as revenge.  The Texans haven’t played well in recent months, but that shouldn’t be mistaken for being a bad team. I think the Patriots will win but it could be more of nail biter than the billing implies.